Most of us don’t really need another sweater or new electronic gadget.  This even applies to gift cards. According to estimates, on average, American households have about $300 worth of unredeemed cards. So, what to give?

Research shows that money can buy happiness when we spend the money on experiences such as a vacation or  a fun night out with friends.

How about giving such “experiences” as holiday gift? Here are a few examples:

• Dinner at a fancy restaurant
• Movie night
• Weekend trip
• Spa visit
• Girls night out
• Theatre, museum or concert tickets
• Hot air balloon ride
• Scuba diving trip
• Ski lift tickets
• Workshop (Job related or Self-Improvement)
• Coaching sessions
• Membership in a Club
• Self-Help books ( such as my book about Job Satisfaction)

Posted by Christiane. You can reach her at  <http://www.privatedaddy.com?q=RVhTblZlSFhdFw5iYWdzMmh7Lld3BmtBdms-3D_19>

 

 

 

Are you getting ready for Black Friday? Before you join in the frenzy of holiday gift buying, just consider for a minute the results of a legendary research study.

In 1978 researchers presented a sample of adults a list of 24 big-ticket items such as a car, travel, a house, and so on. They were asked how many of these items they already possessed and which things on the list were part of having “the good life” as they would define it. 16 years later, in 1994, the same people were interviewed again with the same questions and presented with the same list.

Result: In 1978, the study participants felt that “the good life” would require having more things than they possessed at that time. Those in their twenties had in average 1.7 things from the list but thought they needed 4.4 items for “the good life”. 16 years later, the participants had more objects acquired (3.1 items in average) and thus were closer to their original wishes, but now they thought they needed even more stuff (in average 5.6 items) to have a “good life”.

In summary, having more possessions didn’t really change the difference between “Have already” and “Want to Have”, leading to the conclusion: The More We Have, The More We Want.

If you want to know what to give for Christmas that actually could increase happiness, stay tuned. Next time, I will write about “Gifts that spread Joy and Happiness”.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Christiane Turnheim is a Life& Career Coach and a psychology teacher at a Community College in the Boston area. You can reach her at <http://www.privatedaddy.com?q=RURUdUt5RFBeMi1ub2V4bikgblxma0F2aw-3D-3D_19>.

How to be happy at work? The answer: Be happy in your life.

According to a new study published by the British Psychological Society people, who feel generally happy in their lifes are more likely to like their jobs. On the flip side, those who are unhappy in life are unlikely to be experiencing  job satisfaction. Also, looking for a new job is probably not the solution as those dissatisfied with their lifes will probably find something wrong with the new job, too.

So, what can you do? Psychologists still discuss and research the genetic component of happiness. However, it’s never genes alone.

People, who are unhappy in life and in their jobs have most likely learned certain thinking styles, behaviors, and expectations that hinder them to achieve happiness. Possible causes could be for example black and white thinking and perfectionism (if it’s not perfect, it’s awful), unrealistic expectations, focusing on negative aspects and neglecting positive events and so forth.

The good news: As these thinking styles, behaviors and expectations are learned, they can be unlearned.

Written by Life and Career Coach Christiane Turnheim. Christiane teaches psychology at a community college in the Boston area. To contact her, visit her website www.coach4u.net

Can money buy happiness?

An old question about which many books are written. To a certain degree, money is certainly important for happiness. Living in poverty is definitely no fun: If you have to worry day and night how to pay for rent and  groceries,  it’s difficult to enjoy life. On the other hand, being wealthy is not equivalent to being happy – countless stories about with life struggling celebrities in the tabloid press may serve here as confirmation.

A worldwide Gallup survey shed now more light on the most important factors, which make up happiness and the role of money.

According to the Gallup World Poll (136,000 people in 132 countries participated), life satisfaction and enjoyment of life are the two main components of happiness.

Life satisfaction, defined as the feeling that life goes well, increased with rising personal and national income. Hence, money is an important factor for satisfaction. However, the other component, life enjoyment defined as positive day-to-day feelings, depended also on other factors, such as feeling connected to other people, having personal freedom and feeling respected.

Original report here

I just discovered a new reason to love the laugh lines and creases around my eyes: They may be a sign that I will enjoy a long life. According to recently published research study, people who have big smiles in which also the corner of their eyes move live longer. The way, how the study was done, may seem a bit unusual: Researchers at the Wayne State University in Michigan categorized 230 pictures of players from the 1952 Baseball register based on smile intensity: big smile, no smile, partial smile. They then compared the three categories with data from deaths and accounted for other factors that are related to longevity, such as body mass index or education. At the time of the study 184 of the 230 players had died. The researchers found that players with a big smile lived in average 7 years longer as players who didn’t smile on their pictures. (79.9 years for big smiles versus 72.9 for no-smiles). So – smile a lot and you live longer? Seriously? The researchers say YES and offer an explanation: Our facial expressions reflect our emotions. We smile to express positive emotions. Also other studies have proven that positive emotions are related to better mental and physical health. People who smile often are more likely to have stable personalities and marriages, and also better relationships with other people. The author, Christiane Turnheim, is psychologist and life-coach. Visit her website www.coach4u.net or email to <http://www.privatedaddy.com?q=RVhTblZlSFhdFw5iYWdzMmh7Lld3BmtBdms-3D_19>

Do you think that getting old is equivalent to getting forgetful, physically weak and dependent on others? If yes, think again – in your own interest. According to recent research, people who expressed negative stereotypes about aging when they were younger had a higher risk 30 years later to suffer from serious health and memory problems. They even lived on average 7.5 years shorter compared to those with a more positive attitude about getting old. Scientists are of course trying to find out what is causing this link between stereotypes and health effects. It could be that the principles of self-fulfilling prophesies are here at work. If you believe that you will lose cognitive skills like memory as you get older, you may stay away from tasks involving those skills.  Consequently, as the old adage goes, “use it or lose it” you are then losing these skills. Christiane is psychologist and Life & Career coach. Contact her at <http://www.privatedaddy.com?q=RVhTblZlSFhdFw5iYWdzMmh7Lld3BmtBdms-3D_19>

Gratitude, the emotion of thankfulness and feeling blessed, is one of the essential ingredients for living a good life. One of the simplest tool to increase happiness therefore is to remind yourself regularly of all the people, experiences and things you can be thankful for that they are in your life. This week, I asked students in my Psychology 101 class for what they will be grateful tomorrow at Thanksgiving. Most answered spontaneously “family, friends, and good food”. However, some students answers revealed life experiences, hardships, and maturity one might not expect in such young people. One young woman for example told me about her struggles as single mother. She described herself as trouble maker in high school and then being pregnant at age 17. The baby was her wake-up call, and today she is a doting young mother and aspiring nurse. She is thankful for having been able to turn her life around. A young man told me about his family back in Haiti who is making sacrifices to support his education here in the US. He feels blessed for having his family, and is sad that they can’t celebrate with him. Another young woman, who has lost her forearm in an accident, simply stated that she is grateful for her health. Also mentioned by students was gratitude for having a decent life and not being homeless like friends, and an older student mentioned to be grateful for one more Thanksgiving with his parents though their health is failing and they need his assistance a lot. After listening to the students, I truly feel blessed that I have the good fortune to be grateful for family, friends, and good food.

If you belong to the few lucky ones, who still have some extra cash to spend, don’t “waste” it on the newest gadgets. Instead, buy yourself happiness. You may need it in a tough time like now. “One can’t buy happiness”, I hear you saying. Well, Ryan Howell, assistant professor of psychology at San Francisco State University, begs to differ. He believes that if you spend your money right you can increase your happiness. The trick is not to “waste” your money on material things. Instead, buy yourself experiences, such as a meal out, going to the theater or to a baseball game. Howell did a study with 154 people ages 19 to 50 and found that people feel more alive and inspired after they have made experiential purchases. They also appreciated the positive memories they were left with. An additional benefit was the social nature of those experiences, i.e. being together with other people and thus satisfying the need for social connectedness. Overall, buying experiences made people happier than buying stuff. In conclusion, Howell suggests that his findings can also be applied to purchasing gifts for other people. If you give a certificate for a restaurant, for tennis lessons, or a spa visit, you will not only brighten the day for the person, but also create long lasting happy memories.

Christiane is psychologist and Life & Career coach.  She teaches Psychology at a College in the Greater Boston area. Visit her website at www.coach4u.net