Recently, I read in the newspaper that some companies provide free pizza or ice cream to their employees to keep them happy in face of the still dismal economic situation.

In these days many companies are reducing the size of their workforce and also are cutting benefits. The remaining employees are left to deal with two pressures: the anxiety that the next round of layoffs will include them and with an increased workload because they inherit some of the tasks of those who got the pink slip.

Therefore, morale is down in many companies and management is looking for new ways to lift the spirits again. Free pizza or cook-outs are supposed to show appreciation and foster loyalty to the company during bad times.

I’m wondering whether this is really working. Personally, if I felt that my job is not secure and I might get laid off, no free pizza would keep me from looking for alternatives. On the other hand, if I’m satisfied with my job and the company in general – and one criterion for me would be fairness in regards to the whole lay-off process- I wouldn’t need free pizza to boost my work morale.

ScienceDaily (May 16, 2009) People looking for a good job at a good salary could find their intelligence may not be the only trait that puts them at the top of the pay scale, according to researchers. A new study finds attractiveness, along with confidence, may help job-seekers stand out to employers. … http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/05/090514130641.htm”>read full article

If you belong to the few lucky ones, who still have some extra cash to spend, don’t “waste” it on the newest gadgets. Instead, buy yourself happiness. You may need it in a tough time like now.

“One can’t buy happiness”, I hear you saying. Well, Ryan Howell, assistant professor of psychology at San Francisco State University, begs to differ. He believes that if you spend your money right you can increase your happiness.

The trick is not to “waste” your money on material things. Instead, buy yourself experiences, such as a meal out, going to the theater or to a baseball game.

Howell did a study with 154 people ages 19 to 50 and found that people feel more alive and inspired after they have made experiential purchases. They also appreciated the positive memories they were left with. An additional benefit was the social nature of those experiences, i.e. being together with other people and thus satisfying the need for social connectedness. Overall, buying experiences made people happier than buying stuff.

In conclusion, Howell suggests that his findings can also be applied to purchasing gifts for other people. If you give a certificate for a restaurant, for tennis lessons, or a spa visit, you will not only brighten the day for the person, but also create long lasting happy memories.

Christiane is psychologist and Life & Career coach.  She teaches Psychology at a College in the Greater Boston area. Visit her website at www.coach4u.net

Are you one of those people who dread winter? I am. I don’t like the cold, the snow and the ice. Just today, I was trying for about one hour to get rid of the half inch of ice that was covering our driveway and stairs. If I could, I would hibernate.

 

Some people suffer in the winter months from seasonal affective disorder (SAD). The symptoms are among others lack of energy, and changes in sleep and eating behaviors. People with SAD should see a physician to discuss treatment options.

 

Those of us, who feel just a little dragged down by the long winter, may find help with the following tips against the Winter Blues:

 

1. Eat extremely healthy:  Lots of veggies, fruit, and nuts. Reduce sugar and all starchy food.

2. Force yourself out into Mother Nature.  Walk, go sledding, and ice skating or skiing. Be active and try to catch as many sunrays as possible (of course, with proper sun cream protection)

3. Exercise regularly – at least 15 to 30 minutes daily.  Even a brisk walk to the bus stop might suffice.

4. Meet your friends as often as possible. If you can’t meet, then talk on the phone.

5. Surround yourself with beautiful things: flowers, listen to music, candlelight

6. Start a project; something, you always wanted to do but never had time for: organize your photos, paint your apartment, and try out new recipes


 

Basically, keep active and you will see: time flies by and suddenly, it’s spring again.

 

Christiane is psychologist and a professional Life Coach. Her website is www.coach4u.net

 

I have a good friend whom I admire for her energy, curiosity about life and optimism. She is well into her eighties with an unbroken zest for life.

A while ago, she told me the secret for her positive attitude: “When I get a box with a variety of chocolates, I will eat only one per day. On the first day, I will select the one that I like best. The next day, I will take the best of the remaining, and this I will repeat every day until all are gone. This way, I get to enjoy every day just the best of all my options”. 

Though most of us live better than our parents and grandparents, we often forget to appreciate the abundance we enjoy.

That’s a pity because learning to be grateful for even small joys could improve many areas in our life. As it turns out, people who are grateful – not only to Thanksgiving, rather on a daily basis- sleep better, feel less stress and depression, have more energy, feel more alert, alive and positive. People with high blood pressure could even lower their blood pressure.

Grateful people focus more on the positive things in life and are less focused on pain and problems.

A few strategies help learning to become more aware of one’s own blessings:

1. Start a gratitude journal and list daily or weekly the positive things that happened; whether you met an old friend, you cooked a delicious meal or the bus was on time

There is something to be grateful for on even the worst days.
2.  For the coming holidays: List all the people in your life who you take for granted. Then picture your life without these people. How would it be? What would you be missing? In your holiday cards to these people thank them for being in your life and for the difference they are making.
3. Make a sign for your fridge or bathroom mirror: This week, I’m grateful for
..

I’m grateful for being healthy. I’m now cancer free for 10 years. In addition, I’m thankful for my family.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Christiane is a professional Life & Career Coach (coach4u.net). In addition, she teaches Psychology at a Community College near Boston.

Overweight people just enjoy food more than people of normal weight and that’s the reason why they eat more and gain weight!

You think so? Think again!

Scientists at the Oregon Research Institute compared the brain responses of skinny and overweight people while drinking a milkshake. It turned out that a brain region called dorsal striatum, which the scientists describe as “a dopamine-rich pleasure center” became active. However, that brain region was less active in overweight people than in lean people.

Previous brain scans have already shown that overweight people have fewer dopamine receptors that normal weight people. This difference seems to be caused by genetics.

One of the senior scientists at the Oregon Research Institute concludes, based on the study results, that opposed to common belief obese people get in fact LESS satisfaction from food and to compensate for that they eat more.

More: Oregon Research Institute

According to a new study, employers have no reason to be concerned if they hear occasional laughter coming from the work areas. On the contrary, they may even want to encourage the use of humor at the workplace, because it increases job satisfaction.

The Australian psychologist Maren Rawlings surveyed 300 workers from 20 different countries. She found that employees, who worked in a humor climate, were more satisfied with their jobs than those, who worked in a humor free climate or in a climate with negative humor like making fun of co-workers to put them down.

Previous studies have demonstrated that employees with high job satisfaction are more likely to stay in their company and are more productive.

Rawlings concludes: “If employers take measures to encourage a positive humor climate in the workplace, they are more likely to retain their staff. And with an ageing workforce it is vital for companies to keep good people.”
(from http://www.swinburne.edu.au/corporate/marketing/mediacentre/core/releases_article.php?releaseid=1199 )

If you are like me, then there is always too much to do and never enough time to do it all. In consequence, many of us are controlled by their daily “to do list”.

On a weekly basis, how much time do you have left for some fun in your life? If you don’t know for sure, maybe you will find the work-life balance calculator useful that I recently found on cnn.com

Good news: the level of happiness is rising around the world. People are happier these days than 25 years ago. This is the result of a study published by the University of Michigan. The United States ranks 16^th on the list of 97 countries. Denmark seems to be the happiest nation in the world and Zimbabwe the unhappiest. Read more: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-06/uom-hir063008.php

Researchers at the University Of Leicester, England published last year a world map of subjective well-being. They came to almost the same result: Denmark received the top score for happiness. More: http://www.le.ac.uk/users/aw57/world/sample.html

Do you belong to the lucky ones who still can put in overtime? Well, as it turns out now, it may be good for your paycheck but not as good for your psyche.

According to a recently published study by Norway researchers, people who put in more than 40 work hours per week have a higher risk for anxiety and depression.

The researchers compared about 9,000 people, who work 40 hours or less with 1,350, who worked regularly overtime. “Results: Overtime workers of both genders had significantly higher anxiety and depression levels and higher prevalences of anxiety and depressive disorders compared with those working normal hours.” (Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine, http://www.joem.org/pt/re/joem/abstract.00043764-200806000-00008.htm;jsessionid=Lb4TB2jD9R9Hx22bQ4dh4p57Bxn241q0TvW9ShJQCqWzp7SLyb0G!-1180856744!181195629!8091!-1 )

According to the United States Department of Labor (http://www.bls.gov, )
full time worker spend just under 43 hours at work per week. In 2006, about 18 % of full time workers put in more than 50 hours per week. Currently, about 3 % of the workforce has a part time job because they can’t find a full time job or their companies cut the work hours because of the economic downturn and about 5 % of the workforce holds more than one job.

Children bring much joy to your life. Are you sure? Think again! According to Daniel Gilbert, Harvard university psychology professor, having children has a negative effect on marital satisfaction. It’s an illusion that children increase people’s happiness.

Gilbert , author of the book ‘Stumbling on happiness’ based his statement during a happiness conference in May in Sydney, Australia on several studies that are quoted in most developmental psychology textbooks: Many couples experience a dip in their marital satisfaction after the birth of their first child. Particularly at risk are those couples who married after a relatively short courtship, are not settled in their partnership yet and get a baby soon after marriage. If couples postpone having children until their careers are under way, work on their financial stability and further concentrate on building up a sense of “we-ness” , their marital satisfaction will be more resilient against the challenges of raising children.

The deepest point in marital satisfaction often comes when the kids enter adolescence. Having a grumpy and moody teenager at home puts a strain on parents’ happiness. Marital satisfaction returns when the kids leave for college.

What Gilbert didn’t say, or it was not reported by the media, is that later in life grown children and their kids, so the grandkids, become a main source for the mental well-being of the elderly. A study by Karen Fingerman showed that the majority of “relationships between parents and their adult children improve as parents transition to old age”
.”Generally, there was a feeling on both sides that this was as good as the relationship had been, and both sides felt appreciated and nurtured.” (Karen Fingerman on Purdue University, http://www.purdue.edu/uns/x/2007b/071126FingermanAge.html )

Every time I ask my students about their goals for the next ten years, they put starting a family and raising happy children at the top of their priority list. Only – until now there wasn’t much known about what actually makes children happy. More toys, better video games, a bigger house and/or garden, parents who would stay together, good grades, sports……?Psychologists at the University of British Columbia in Canada are saying all of the above doesn’t count much when it comes to happiness in children.

According to the answers of more than 300 children aged 9 to 12, the answer to the quest for happiness is Spirituality.

Children, who got high happiness marks by their parents and teachers, gave high importance ratings for statements like “I believe that a higher power watches over me” or “developing meaning in my life”.

Spirituality is in the study defined as having an inner-belief system and is not the same as religion. Consequently, attending church had no bearing for the happiness level of the children in the study.

Other factors that influenced the level of happiness in children have been social activities, sports and temperament.

Many psychologists today believe that temperament is the inborn part of personality, and for example being an optimist or a pessimist is a factor of temperament. Simplified, whether you view a glass as half full or half empty is inherited to a certain extent.

Still, even if someone is born as pessimist, it’s possible to modify the outlook:

Ask yourself (or ask your child) at bedtime what positive things happened during the day and what you are grateful for. Research shows that focusing on the positive will make you happier over time and is good for your health. Read on: http://www.coach4u.net/blog/2-steps-happiness.html

Stress is bad for you -there is nothing new about that. Everyone knows that stress could cause heart problems, high blood pressure, stomach ulcers, and headaches. Scientists at the Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia now discovered that stress may also play a role in obesity.

In an experiment, the researchers compared the feeding pattern of socially dominant female rhesus macaques and socially subordinate. The subordinates were exposed to more stress because rhesus macaques maintain group stability through continual harassment and threat of aggression against lower ranking group members.

During the study, the rhesus macaques were given access to a low fat diet and a high fat diet. The researchers found that socially subordinate females consumed significantly more of both the low-fat diet and the high-fat diet throughout a 24-hour period, while socially dominant females ate significantly less than subordinate animals and restricted their feedings to daytime hours.

Result: Overeating subordinate females gained weight. In addition, the researchers found an increased level of the hormone cortisol in their blood, which could set them on the track to diabetes.

In further studies, the researchers will attempt to determine whether there is a link between brain areas associated with reward and satisfaction and appetite signals. Hypothetically, it could be that we are kind of “programmed” to eat more when we are under psychological stress, and then, for a “stress eater” it will be much harder to stick to a diet.

Read more: http://www.whsc.emory.edu/press_releases2.cfm?announcement_id_seq=14225

 

According to my teenage sons ‘it’s not cool to be old’- and of course, to them anyone over thirty looks suspiciously old.

What little do they know! They don’t know for example that according to a recently published study (Yang Yang, University of Chicago, 2008) older people are happier than younger people. This is because older people have learned to lower their expectations. They are more likely to be content with whatever they have achieved in life. The well-known psychologist Erik Erikson described already more than 50 years ago the main task of late adulthood as “coming to terms with one’s life”, and those who succeed will gain the feeling of integrity, which he described as feeling whole and complete.

Life satisfaction seems to be a factor of one’s perception: as lower the expectation, as higher the happiness. People over 65 don’t expect life to be perfect. They have learned to accept certain aches and pains as part of life, and in general, they develop a more positive attitude.

In another study, published about ten years ago, people over 65 reported more positive emotions and less negative emotions than their younger counterparts. Also this study came to the conclusion that the older you are the happier and more satisfied you should feel. (D. Mroczek & Ch. Kolarz, Fordham University, 1998).

It seems that we all should look forward to our golden years – and there is another good reason for it: Researchers at Yale University found out that people with a positive attitude toward aging live in average 7.5 years longer than those with negative stereotypes (Levy et. al., Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 83, No.2)

Struggling with weight loss, exercising more, eating healthier? Are you still holding on to your New Year’s resolutions, but just barely? Wait, before you give up. Signing up at stickK.com maybe the solution you have been looking for.

The website offers support for those of us with willpower issues when it comes to achieving our personal goals:
 

stickK is a web-based company that helps you achieve your personal goals through “Commitment Contracts.” You create a contract obliging you to achieve a specific goal within a specific time-frame. By doing so, you put your reputation at stake. You may also choose to wager money to give yourself added incentive to succeed. If you do succeed, you get your money back. If you fail, the money is forfeited to charity, or to one of several causes, or to a person of your choosing.( http://www.stickk.com/faq.php)

The contracts follow the principle of setting SMART goals (read about SMART goals: http://www.coach4u.net/blog/smart-goals.html)

To increase the incentive to reach your goal by putting up money, you can choose an Anti-Charity where your money would go to if you fail. An Anti-Charity is any organization/person whose goals you strongly oppose. Let’s say, if you feel strongly for Hillary, pledge your money for Obama or McCain, whoever is your least favorite candidate, and vice versa.

If you decide to put money at stake, your credit card will be charged for the full amount when you create the contract. The site also encourages its users to name a referee who acts as overseer and the site also offers the possibility to designate supporters.

Does it work and really increase your chances of achieving your goals? The website creators, two Yale professors and a student, of course say yes:
 

The Commitment Contract concept is grounded on two well-known principles of behavioral economics: (1) people don’t always do what they claim they want to do, and (2) incentives get people to do things.(http://www.stickk.com)

A few months ago, I wrote on this blog about a British research study about the success rate for New Year’s resolutions. (http://www.coach4u.net/blog/only-12-of-new-years-resolutions-successful.html). One result of the study has been that particularly women increase their chances of achieving goals by telling others about them. So, yes, stickK.com could be the solution for some people.

And if a public commitment contract, money at stake, referee and support network still are not enough, then – I believe – it would be really time for hiring a professional life & career coach like me; don’t you think?

Tomorrow is April Fool’s day and here I am with a fitting question: Is laughter really the best medicine?

Based only on my gut feeling, I would wholeheartedly say yes. I always feel so relaxed and stress free after a good laugh. This must be good for my body and health, don’t you think so?

Imagine my surprise when I discovered, researching the topic “laughter and health” that there are actually conflicting results with respect to the stress-reducing effect of laughter.

Laughter evolved to bring people together. It’s a social activity, and consequently we laugh much less when we are alone. The physiological effects are described as an increase in heart rate and blood pressure.

According to a Swedish study, laughter activates the fight or flight system and thus increases the release of certain stress hormones. Another study points to a stress relieving effect of laughter, and consequently a reduction in stress hormones.

Studies about another supposed effect of laughter convey less confusing results: Laughter seems to make people less sensitive to pain.

One effect for sure is: We are in a better mood, if we have something to laugh about.

Therefore, any ideas for April fool’s day?

CNN lists today the 10 best pranks; among them all female employees told the boss confidentially that they are pregnant: http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/03/31/fool.pranks.work/index.html

The top ranked prank on the list of the Museum of Hoaxes is a BBC TV story. In 1957, BBC announced that thanks to a mild winter Swiss farmers would have a record spaghetti harvest. The report showed footage of people pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. After the show, many people called BBC wanting to know where they could get a spaghetti tree. BBC’s advice: “Place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.” This story and 99 more pranks at: http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/index

(Information about laughter is based on an article by Robert R. Provine, Ph.D., published in Psychology Today, 11/01/2000)

While I’m researching and working on my planned e-book, this story made recently headlines: The secret to happiness is giving away your money.

It was already known, based on earlier studies, that getting more money is not doing much for most people’s happiness, provided they are not extremely poor. Just consider how much money we have today and how much money our parents or grandparents had. Earlier generations often struggled just to get enough food on the dinner table so that nobody would have to go to bed hungry. Today, most of us take food for guaranteed, also cell-phones, cable TV and computers. Well, are we happier than our parents and grandparents? We aren’t, and now we may have an answer why:

According to the new study, recently published in the journal Science, how people spend their money is at least as important as how much money they make.

A survey of 632 Americans showed that those, who gave more money to charities or spent it on friends and relatives reported higher levels of happiness. In another survey 16 employees of a Boston company were polled about their happiness before and after they received fat bonuses and also here, the researchers found a correlation between happiness and the amount of money people spent on others.

In an experiment, 46 students at the University of British Columbia received envelopes with $5 or $20. The students were told to either spend the money on themselves or on other people. The group that were told to spend it on others, either by donating it or to buy someone a gift, felt happier when they were polled again than those, who could spend it for themselves, regardless whether they could spent $ 5 or $20.

The researchers suggest now that governments may consider promoting philanthropy just to increase their citizens’ happiness. My personal suggestion is of course different: Get a life coach and discover the purpose of your life. Take it from there to discover what would make YOU happy.

I’m working right now on an e-book about the general topic ‚Happiness‘and ‘How to improve one’s life?’ My plan is to publish the book here on this website in approximately three months. I don’t want to add another textbook or another self-help book to the growing collection of e-books about this topic. Rather, I’m planning a book that will guide the reader toward more clarity about own goals, wishes and needs.

I don’t believe that there is a general answer to the question “What is happiness?” For one person true happiness could come with raising children, for another it may come as result of mastering challenging tasks in a chosen profession, and for a third person happiness may be equal to making the world a better place to live in, or having a positive impact on the life of others.

Daniel Gilbert, Professor of Psychology at Harvard University, writes: “If we were to agree to reserve the word happiness to refer to that class of subjective emotional experiences that are vaguely described as enjoyable or pleasurable”…..”we might still wonder whether the happiness one gets from helping a little old lady across the street constitutes a different kind of emotional experience – bigger, better, deeper – than the happiness one gets from eating a slice of banana-cream pie.” (Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert, published by Vintage books, 2007, p. 41/42)

In my opinion, there is a fundamental difference. Happiness is not only about feeling good. If it would be, we won’t need to think about it. Why should we? Eating banana-cream pie would do the job. Kids think like that. They believe that having money will make you happy. However, countless of middle aged professionals, exchanging their well paying job for cheese-making farms know otherwise. Happiness involves fulfilling your own personal needs.

Now, the question many people can’t answer is: What are these needs? What is it that I must have, do, accomplish, or experience during my time on this earth so that I will feel complete at the end of my journey? I believe, knowing the answer to this question provides the foundation for finding happiness.

Gilbert also writes that “the human being is the only animal that thinks about the future” (p.4). He believes that thinking about the future contributes to our stumbling on happiness, because we must decide here and now what we might enjoy and want in future and this is where we fail.

I would like to reword his thought; the human being is the only animal that expects that there is more to life than mere survival as a race.

Would we be happier if we had lower expectations?

Somehow, after the gym I don’t feel as energized as after a good hike through the woods. Scientists recently found out what’s missing in most gyms: Something green.
The benefit of exercising outdoors goes beyond burning calories. Being outside in Mother Nature helps reducing stress, depression and anger and thus overall, improves the emotional state.

Well, that’s nice to know, but not much comfort in the middle of a long New England winter. Today, it was snowing lightly throughout the entire day.

But it seems that research offers a solution for people with limited outdoor opportunities based on their geographical location:

Researcher at the University of Essex in Britain tested the impact of different views on treadmill runners. One group was exposed to idyllic rural views while running, and the other group to rather unpleasant city views. After 20 minutes of exercise the researcher measured blood pressure and how the participants were feeling. Needless to say, the group who looked at the rural views had the better results.

What would be your perfect day? Who would be in it? What would you do? What makes a day the “perfect day”?

For me, right now, a perfect day would be one, where I don’t have to think about what I “must do next”. I long for a day off – but I know this is only temporary, since I feel a little exhausted.

Normally, I would describe my perfect day differently: I would describe it as a nice, sunny and warm day. I’m spending the day with people I love to be around; and I would get to know something new; the last point being the most important part of the perfect day. I love to have new experiences in my life; these may be traveling to foreign countries, taking courses or visit a museum where I haven’t been before.

I’m unhappy if I have to spend my days with routine jobs, in routine meetings, or with routine chores at home.

Why did I ask the questions about your perfect day? Because I believe, it’s important to think once in a while about the perfect day. It tells you where you are standing right now in life, what’s missing and what you might want to change or add, if possible.

One of my favorite quotations:
Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. (Benjamin Disraeli)

This weekend, we finally made it to the movie theatre and watched “The Bucket List”. This is an outstanding movie about two elderly men from very different backgrounds, who – in the face of death after diagnosed with incurable cancer – go out into the world to do in the last months of their lives all the things they always wanted to do.

There are many funny situations and dialogues. However, the movie also wants to teach us something important: All the money in the world, and all the trips to exotic locations, fun and adventures one can buy with money, can’t replace what really counts, a relationship with someone close to your heart. Toward the end of the movie, both men found their way back to the most important person in their lives, and then they were able to experience true happiness and inner satisfaction.

Personally, I believe that the movie’s message is correct – and I also have scientific back-up for that. A few years ago was a study published that asked ” What makes us happy?”. For this study, several hundreds of college students answered questions about recent experiences, which the students had rated as “satisfying events” in their lives. The result of the scientific analysis of these events was that students rated especially those events as satisfying that gave them a feeling of autonomy, competence, self esteem and connectedness with other people.

Cancer researcher Judah Folkman has died. Folkman was a visionary who for more than 30 years pursued his idea that cutting off a tumor’s blood supply would stop cancer growth. Today, more than one million of cancer patients are being treated with medication based on his groundbreaking research.I’m writing about Folkman because his life and work demonstrates that success often requires sticking to ideas even in the face of skepticism and criticism. When he first proposed his ideas about cutting off the blood supply his colleagues didn’t take him seriously. Cancer research in the 70s focused on improving chemotherapy drugs. But Folkman didn’t give up on his idea to swim with the mainstream. Instead, he pursued it with great determination even though his own experiments didn’t always deliver the results he had hoped for. It eventually paid off and in 1998 the Ney York Times celebrated him on page one as the man who could cure cancer. Though these hopes were too high, drugs targeting a tumor’s blood supply are today a fixed part of many treatment plans.

Secret of success

In my opinion, Folkman’s story highlights one of the biggest differences between successful people and less successful. It’s often not about skills, talent, knowledge, power or money. The difference is in the degree of determination and persistence. I read in Folkman’s obituary in the Boston Globe that he liked to joke “if your idea succeeds, everybody says you are persistent. If it doesn’t succeed, you’re stubborn”.

The thing is, many people with good ideas give up because they are afraid of being perceived as stubborn.

No such word as ‘failure’

According to the same obituary a friend said about him, that there was no such word as defeat in Folkman’s lexicon. A setback like an experiment with inconclusive results was only a learning point. Relentlessly, Folkman tried again with new experiments to prove that cancer growth can be stopped by cutting off the blood supply.

This is the second secret of success: the ability to view failure only as a temporary setback. On the long run, each failure offers the possibility to learn from it and thus gets you one step closer to your goal.

Experience success through the assistance of a life coach

Not many people have this ability, and exactly here a life coach could help. A life coach provides support, offers feedback, designs with you a plan how to achieve your goal and will help to refocus in times of temporary setbacks.

Most importantly, a life coach will help you to silence your “inner critic”; it’s this voice inside your head which most of us know too well: “You are not good enough; nobody cares; who you think you are?” The road to success is rocky enough without the added burden of the inner critic.

Finally weekend. Any plans?

Friends often tell me that they are not really sure what to do on weekends, aside from sleeping in or going to the movies; “There is not much else to do”.

I’m under the impression that many people don’t really know what they are passionate about, what would really fill their lives, and what could energize them.

In the book “Wishcraft” by Barbara Sher, I read her recommendation to think back at childhood. What was it that could energize you as 5 year old, what did you love to do, how did you spend your time back then? Chances are high that what you loved to do as a child could still hold some ‘passion potential’ today.

For me, this is true. As little girl, I loved to draw and paint, and creating things. Today,  I still love creative work, from photography, designing my garden to cooking.

Yesterday, I took an Improvisation workshop for Life coaches. It was a workshop with Daena Giardella, an amazing actor, writer, creativity and acting coach.

While I was listening to her, I became more and more aware of the little space we give to spontaneity and improvisation in our lives. All the time, we strive to be perfect. We plan and follow rules, anxiously trying to avoid failure.

But if we restrict ourselves to what’s already tried and tested, how will we find new solutions and make exciting discoveries?

Daena says, “Improvisation is about making choices and daring to give them your fullest commitment even before you know why or where it will lead you.”

How is it going with the New Year’s resolutions? Still trying to stick to the resolutions? How about participating at a psychological research study? (http://richardwiseman.com/, link to study sign up at the bottom)
Prof. Richard Wiseman, the lead researcher of this online research project, says that according to previous research the success rate for New Year’s resolutions is only about 12 %. Wiseman and his team tracked last year the resolutions of more than 3000 people from the US and the UK. Resolutions with the highest success rate (between 24 and 32 %) have been: “enjoy life more”, lose weight, improve fitness, and limit or stop drinking alcohol and/or smoking.

Wiseman says that the sexes should follow different strategies to make success more likely.

Men should follow the rules for SMART goals (see previous blog entry) and divide the” big goal” into easier achievable sub goals. It also helps them to remind themselves frequently of the benefits for their life if they achieve their goals. A helpful structure for men would therefore be to write down a list of benefits and put the list in a place where they see it often.

Women increase their chances of sticking to their resolutions by telling others about them. Therefore Wiseman advises women to go public with their pledges by telling friends and relatives. In addition, women need reminders that slipping up once in a while is no reason for giving up altogether.

As I said in a previous posting, breaking old habits and adopting a new lifestyle needs time. Therefore, be gentle with yourself and take your time. View “failures” to stick to your resolutions as temporary setbacks and try it again.