My experience with my clients is that many people simply want too much and too fast without being able to incorporate necessary life style changes into their daily life. If you didn’t exercise for many years, don’t expect suddenly to spend five hours in the gym per week.

I was asked recently how it comes that I’m able to stick to my running regimen of 15 – 20 miles per week for two years now though I was never running before. Here is my answer:

After several failed attempts earlier, I did two things differently in 2010:

First, I started with a small step, just learning to run a half mile daily. I was in such a bad shape that this was difficult enough, however it took only a few minutes out of my daily schedule. I could afford these minutes and this way, I experienced at first the advantages of more exercise in the form of feeling better and being more energetic before I had the price to pay – giving up something that I did for fun to free up time for exercising. Once I got in better shape, I slowly increased the distance. The pounds started to come off when I was at about two miles per day. The weight loss was of course a big motivator and today I’m running in average a 5 K on most days of the week. I lost more than 30 pounds and I am in a better shape now than I was 20 years ago.  I’m sure had I started with a longer distance right away, I probably would not have made it.

The second reason why I’m still running is that I learned to incorporate the exercise into my daily life. It takes out 30 to 45 minutes every day, and to make this work, I started combining my errands with running. I do as much as possible local now and run to the post office, library, hair dresser, subway station etc., often carrying a small bag. I found out that it doesn’t take much more time than going by car because I can use a different route when running without having to stop at traffic lights, and of course at my destination, I don’t have to search for a parking spot. Being able to combine exercise with errands makes it much easier for me to stick to my close-to-20-miles-per- week- goal.

In summary, like many people, I also had failed in the past with my resolutions. Two points  made all the  difference in 2010: starting slow and finding a way to combine exercise with my day to day life .

Christiane Turnheim is life coach in private practice and psychologist instructor at a community college in the Boston area. You can reach her at christiane@coach4u.net

What often happens when we start to work toward a goal is that for the first week or two, we manage to stick to our plan. The problems start as time goes on and ultimately, most of us end up back with the old habits and routines which we were trying to break.

One of the main reasons for giving up on the resolutions is simply that many people want too much too fast. Changing ingrained behaviors takes time and effort, and occasional setbacks are to be expected.  If you want major changes in your life – and losing 40 pounds for example or starting daily exercise will require big lifestyle changes – you will be more successful if you take it one step at a time.

Here are six tips that when followed will make success with (New Year’s) resolutions more likely:

1)      Don’t make too many resolutions– you will have more success when you focus on one at a time. If for example you have three things in your life you want to change, then make a priority list and start with the most important. A year is long,  and you can work through your list as the year progresses

2)      Find out the degree of commitment to your goal. How strongly do you wish for it? Ask yourself the following questions: On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is “not at all” and 10 is ”extremely”:

•  How important is it for you to change the particular habit/situation
• How confident are you that you can stick to necessary behavior changes
• How ready are you to actually start with the changes today and stick with them for …… weeks/ months

Only if you are really committed to your goal, you will have a true chance for success

3)      Don’t reach too high with your goal to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Instead take changes slowly, step by step. Behavior changes need time, often months or even years, to become part of the new YOU. If you never exercised before, you most likely won’t have the strength to exercise daily for an hour or two. If you always ordered take-out and rarely ate vegetables, you may miss your usual food too much and give up on the eat-healthier-plan.  

 Also, for many goals you must make changes in your daily schedule to carve out time for exercise or for cooking. I experienced this myself when I decided to exercise more about two years ago: I first started to run for only 10 minutes per day – actually I didn’t have breath for more – and then I slowly increased this time in one minutes increments.  After two months, I was at two miles five times per week, now – almost two years later and more than 30 pounds lighter, I’m running a 5k five to six times/week and occasionally, I’m running a six- miles- lap. If anyone had told me at the beginning that I would do this today, I would never have believed it and if this had been my plan from the start, for sure I would have given up.  

An additional perk is that by starting slow you can enjoy more successes along your way. There is something to celebrate and to be proud of each time when you accomplish a step and then reach higher for the next goal. Nothing is more motivating than success.

4)      When setting goals follow the SMART goals rules, which say that a goal should be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. For more about these rules, read my blog about SMART goals.

5)      Last but for sure not least: Be patient with setbacks. They are normal occurrences and actually to be expected. View setbacks as learning experiences, not failures. From a setback you can learn what to do differently. If you relapse into old behaviors, ask yourself: What worked for a while? What is the part that is not working so well? What kind of adjustments would help? Did something happen that you didn’t anticipate? What triggered the slip? Was this a sudden stumbling, or was this gradually building up? What would help to be better prepared next time? In regards to your action plan how to achieve your goal, what do you really like about the plan, what do you dislike? How can you change the plan to make it work better for you?

6)    Work with a life coach! Changing long standing habits and routines is not easy and it’s rarely a straightforward path. In fact, it could take up to two years until the new behavior turns into an automatic routine and the path to success may feel more like a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs.

That’s the reason why many people work with a life coach to accomplish a goal. Having someone at your side, who cares about you and your goal will increase your success rate.

As your life coach, I would design the SMART goal with you, define the action plan and then work with you through all the ups and downs, adjusting the action plan when necessary. For more information email me at christiane@coach4u.net or call 781 777 2791.

Merry Christmas

and a

Happy New Year

from

Coach4U

I wish you all joyful holidays and a prosperous year 2012. May all your wishes come true!

Christiane

What will be new at Coach4U in 2012?

I’m planning exciting new workshops for 2012.

In spring, I hope to have a workshop ready about “Behavior changes and how to make them last!”. Almost everyone has habits, they would like to get rid of, or they would like to have a healthier life with regular exercise and eating right. For a few days or even weeks resolutions to change work, but then slowly old habits take over again. How to prevent this from happening? There are tools and structures that help and which participants will learn and practice to use during the workshop. More about the new workshop in a few weeks on my website www.coach4u.net. If you live in the Boston area and are interested, please email to christiane@coach4u.net  now to receive updates about this workshop.

Other workshops I’m planning are about Job Satisfaction and about Setting and Achieving Goals.

Let me know if you have any workshop needs. I develop workshops on special requests.

Enjoy the holidays!

When I’m reading research studies about job satisfaction, the aspect of fun and humor is rarely included. It seems that having fun is not given much importance by the scientific community.

Employers also are having a hard time to see how humor and fun could be good for business. Too often bosses believe that employees chatting and laughing at the water cooler are just wasting time and money. Read about the value of humor and fun:

Author: Christiane Turnheim. Christiane is Life & Career Coach at Coach4U.net. She teaches psychology at a Boston-area Community College and published the workbook “Learn to love your Job”. She can be reached at christiane@coach4u.net ; www.coach4u.net

British researchers studied the job and life satisfaction of more than 10, 000 people across thirty European countries. They found that job satisfaction and life satisfaction are correlated, meaning if you are happy in your private life you are also more likely to be happy at your workplace; and those, who are unhappy at home, are also more likely to be unhappy at work. The researchers found no evidence that someone, who is unhappy at home will feel compensated by work in any way.

One explanation for this finding could be that happiness has also a genetic aspect according to psychological studies. Inherited personality traits such as negative affect (tendency to have emotions like anger, fear or hostility), self-esteem, extraversion, emotional stability, self-efficacy (perceived ability to master the environment), and locus of control (perceived amount of control about one’s life) impact overall happiness. Someone, who feels in control over his/her life, has self-esteem, is emotionally stable, and feels competent are genetically predisposed to be happy with their  jobs and life in general.

Author: Christiane Turnheim. Christiane is Life & Career Coach at Coach4U.net. She teaches psychology at a Boston-area Community College and published the workbook “Learn to love your Job”. She can be reached at christiane@coach4u.net ; www.coach4u.net

Research shows that money can buy happiness when we spend the money on experiences such as a vacation or  a fun night out with friends.

How about giving such “experiences” as holiday gift? Here are a few examples:

• Dinner at a fancy restaurant
• Movie night
• Weekend trip
• Spa visit
• Girls night out
• Theatre, museum or concert tickets
• Hot air balloon ride
• Scuba diving trip
• Ski lift tickets
• Workshop (Job related or Self-Improvement)
• Coaching sessions
• Membership in a Club
• Self-Help books ( such as my book about Job Satisfaction)

Posted by Christiane. You can reach her at  christiane@coach4u.net

In 1978 researchers presented a sample of adults a list of 24 big-ticket items such as a car, travel, a house, and so on. They were asked how many of these items they already possessed and which things on the list were part of having “the good life” as they would define it. 16 years later, in 1994, the same people were interviewed again with the same questions and presented with the same list.

Result: In 1978, the study participants felt that “the good life” would require having more things than they possessed at that time. Those in their twenties had in average 1.7 things from the list but thought they needed 4.4 items for “the good life”. 16 years later, the participants had more objects acquired (3.1 items in average) and thus were closer to their original wishes, but now they thought they needed even more stuff (in average 5.6 items) to have a “good life”.

In summary, having more possessions didn’t really change the difference between “Have already” and “Want to Have”, leading to the conclusion: The More We Have, The More We Want.

If you want to know what to give for Christmas that actually could increase happiness, stay tuned. Next time, I will write about “Gifts that spread Joy and Happiness”.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Christiane Turnheim is a Life& Career Coach and a psychology teacher at a Community College in the Boston area. You can reach her at cturnheim@coach4u.net.